Yesterday while we on the way home mom told me abt the trip back 2 yeye's house which made me feel grossed. Well, i guess it's juz my family, and my yeye who is talented in producing beggers and free- loaders. Ya, it's rude 2 say bad thing abt my yeye, but i feel like waiting 4 his existence 2 be ceased, for he juz does his best embrassing and making my dad suffer. And that old man harms the society by generating an army with lazy creatures who believe that shameless begging is glory. So, all the things that those f*cking ppl can do are eat, sleep, slack and waiting 4 money. And one thing i feel disappointed most is my aunty who has been staying wiz us 4 almost 20 years and never be faithful with my parents. wad she only thinks and cares abt is here f*cking dad and her bloody greed sister. God, what can I do to these people? For they've already been spoilt rotten by the devil. My mom has tried to convert them back but all her efforts were wasted in vain. What can I do now? waiting for my grandpa to 死 then I can get those ppl out of my mind? will they really be vanished after that? That's what my mom wanna do, and my mom always has to battle with my dad's family, and I pity her for that. I feel sorry for my dad, too, for having this kind of family. They thinks my dad is a gold mine and mom is like some freakin' gatekeeper. Screw them. My grandpa is the head of every problems, every conflicts that ever occur in my family. That guy is bloody unnecessary and why he lives for so long? or i.e, why he haven't died yet? I know it's bad cursing people, but i don't think this man is even human anymore. He eats vegetable, and claimed himself to be somewhat like a monk, but he acts just like one of the lowest and dirtiest person on this earth. Yet he gains longevity. It's so unfair to my uncle who's alway been so nice but died tragically. Haiz.. it well costs my months talking abt how ugly my grandfather is and it's not worth it. Maybe i'll juz drop the subject for now.

Anyway... I'm more concerned abt other things. Lord, what can I do now? Is it rushed to plan eveything from my own? Or should I just sit back and wait? Lord, can you tell me what to do? I'm scared of having reality too far beyond expectation. I hate it. I hate it when thing doesn't turn out 2 be what i thought it supposed 2 be. This time is abt relationship and I'm dying from anxiety. God, whatevery it is, please help me, I don't want to loose such a friend and I pray that I'll be able to see him soon too, and know what he's thinking. Arg.. I'm so kancheong :(